What to do when you are going through the toughest time of your life

As humans we go through different things, some more painful than others. Sometimes it hurts so much that we don’t know where to look or what to do. Problems can emanate from absolutely anywhere, it can be health wise, financial, physical, psychological or emotional. Whatever the case, pain is something we cannot escape in life. Personally, 2016 has been the hardest year of my life as my health was compromised. I found myself at the bottom of the pit and struggled to get out of it. Although physically I was healing faster than expected, emotionally and psychologically I had a dark cloud lurking on top of my head. Usually, I am a tough cookie but this time it was beyond me, beyond what I thought I could handle. But what is surprising is our God given strength, truly if something doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger. As long as there is breath in you, you are an overcomer. So what to do when it hurts the most?

• ·     Hold onto God, the man upstairs is actually real, and although He may allow certain things to happen, the bad things don’t come from Him. So instead of wondering why it happened and why you, learn to walk with Him and let Him give you and be your strength. Get into the habit of calling upon Him whenever it hurts or when you are hopeless.
• ·         Get back to praying, it gets you halfway to your recovery.
• ·       Believe deep down in your heart that although it may be dark right now, you can get through this, Jesus came down to earth so that you may have life and have it in abundance. So believe that what is ahead is better. It’s gonna be a brighter day and joy comes in the morning.
• ·         Take it one hour at a time. Celebrate the small victories, it’s hard to get out of bed when you are hurting. If you find yourself awake, breathe and believe that it will all go well for the next hours you will be awake.
• ·       If you are a Christian, keep some scriptures close to your heart. Remind yourself that no weapon formed against you shall prosper. Remind yourself that God is for you and loves you, that He will find you at your point of need and will never leave you nor forsake you.
• ·        Do something nice for someone else, it helps to feel better about yourself. Even if all you would do is smile and say good morning to the security, you are changing the world with kindness and politeness. 
• ·         Let music brighten your day.
• ·       Just like Job, remember that there is double (awaiting) for every trouble you may have encountered.
• ·         Watch out for bitterness, envy and comparison not to creep into your soul. Everyone has a load they are carrying. If yours seems heavy, surely it’s because you are tough; but it’s no better on the other side of town.
• ·         Don’t give up on you! Keep fighting even when you can’t anymore, do it one more time.

Be encouraged, love and light!

The necessity of gratitude

The past 6 months have been the hardest months of my entire existence. I have been through trials and tribulations I had never thought I’d go through in a million years. Basically life happened and it was not sweet. In the midst of that pain, I realized how important gratitude is. Pain has the tendency to render one self-centered while gratitude has a way of bringing healing.  

When one is going through a tough time it’s easy to be hopeless, helpless and aggravated. The outcome of it all is that the pain is magnified and we easily lose sight of the good things that could be happening around us. When Oh my Lord the sky is falling, the world is coming to an end and everything is doomed; that’s when gratitude becomes indispensable.

Gratitude becomes indispensable as it brings back a ray of hope. It starts with being grateful for the small things. It’s crazy how many people, out there, do not have a warm meal or a shelter. So many other people do not have a family they can rely on, friends to support them. Others do not have the freedom you may have. By being grateful for all those small things, joy can find its way back into your life. Where sorrow had siege, happiness can find its way. So forget not to give thanks for what you have, it will bring a little light in the midst of darkness. 

Heels: The Fix

Dress: Legit

Love and Light!

Godfidence vs confidence

Hello there!

Today I am having a little talk on spirituality: Godfidence versus (self) confidence. 

Confidence is described as “a state of being certain either that a hypothesis or prediction is correct or that a chosen course of action is the best most effective.”  The most important aspect of the definition is certainty. Confidence and self-confidence are associated with exactitude: knowing that what you know stands as true and that it will happen. Godfidence on the other hand is the confidence that God exist, that He is for you and that He will do what He promised to do. Godfidence is the fuel to my life, because as a human there are aspects and areas in my life where self-confidence is not sufficient. Self-confidence and confidence can only take you so far. Both can cover up when it comes to your area of expertise or when it comes to showcasing your talents. There is a certainty and exactitude associated with the fact that whatever task you are good at will be executed with excellence. In fact for some of the things, you may be able to do them with your eyes closed, no pressure, no wahala!

While it’s good and healthy to be confident and self-confident, Godfidence is the best option. Godfidence is the best option because it will find you in the pit of inadequacy and call you qualified. Godfidence will find you in a moment of anxiety and calm the storm, simply by knowing that the God you pray to listens and will never forsake you. Godfidence finds you at your last minute of despair and turns sadness into joy. When self-confidence cannot carry you further than what you know, Godfidence equips you with reassurance that He who is in you is greater than this who in this world. Godfidence reminds you that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Godfidence goes beyond your educational background, your connections and abilities and stretches from walking by sight to walking by faith. It goes beyond the present and stretches to your future, giving you hope and spurring some excitement for what is to come, turning present knowledge into future expectation. The good thing about being expectant with God is that He comes through for you, even when you least expect it, even when your circumstances look otherwise. Godfidence gives more energy and power; knowing that by faith, you can access God through prayer and that He has heard you. Luke 4: 35 says it best “So do not throw away your confidence, it will be richly rewarded because we belong to those who have faith and are saved”. Therefore it is important to know where we place our confidence, either in ourselves or in God. I don’t know about you; but for me, I’d rather place it in God whom abounds in love, care and great plans for our lives. There is so much one can achieve with God than on their own.

Shirt-dress: Cotton On

Shoes: Zara

Scarf: Thrifted

Earrings: Inzuki

Victorious

Hello there! Today I thought of sharing a poem of encouragement, one that will strengthen you if you are going through tough times. Thank God for spirituality that carries through our storms and trials. Nothing says authority and strength like a suit, same authority God gave us to become overcomers. 

Victory

I claim victory

Even in the middle of despair

I know I am victorious

Even when life gets tough, and there is no air

I claim victory

For He who is in me called me repaired, and victorious

Victory

He called me by name and all things in repair

Brand new creation

Even when it’s dark, I trust in his intentions

He calls me for my blessings and says declare

Declare victory

Declare love, life and abundance

But remember to start with repentance

No money, no works, just grace

It’s a godly ascension

Washed from transgression

Perfect love that casts out all my fear,

Although I have been broken to pieces, He moulds me back with no crack no tear

All my grievance gone, no tears

The great I am leads me from glory to glory

Changing my past to a future imprint in history

He calls me for restoration

He fills my heart with compassion

He will never fail me, I know his intentions

He welcomes me with open arms, no repression

Even if shun out by the world, He will never forsake me, no rejection

I do it all for his glory, for he gives me peace surpassing comprehension

He elevates me to another dimension

Through his blood I am made perfection

Blazer: thrifted

Pants: Legit

Heels; The Fix

Sunglasses: Spitfire

love & light

The Purposelessness of perfection

During my first classes of sewing, I found myself battling with the perfectionist in me. Although, being a perfectionist may come in handy at times, it is also very distractive and destructive if not handled with care. I had to do a shirt’s cuff four times, until I got it right. Moreover, while I was inserting oversized sleeves onto the bodice, I couldn’t do it with accuracy. I started feeling overwhelmed by a feeling of despair and annoyance, as to why I couldn’t stitch the thing in a straight line and I was too tired to unpick it for the third time. In my despair I went to speak to my lecturer (a mighty woman of God with a heart of gold -if you dig deep enough to get to know her-). She is one of the most amazing humans I have ever come across. So I went to her in panic mode since the deadline was close and this sample wasn’t sewn to perfection. I felt defeated and told her how I thought that maybe I wasn’t good at this, maybe I wasn’t talented enough I should have stuck with Macroeconomics. She said ‘be careful about how you speak to yourself’. I took a moment to let that sink in. I mean I had been sewing for just 2 days, what did I expect?

There was perfectionism standing between me and my dreams. Perfectionism is an ill, a hindrance to progress. I found myself angry at myself for not being accurate, soon enough I was impatient and I let doubt creep in. The problem with zooming in on the negative is that you get stuck with a negative image of yourself. You zoom in on the weakness, obstacles and challenges. These feelings soon enough turn into doubts and doubts turn into fear. The moment fear succumbs your being, you are overwhelmed and life becomes a blur, and just like that you can give up on your dreams. Instead of giving into my fears, I decided to sew a top with no pattern. It wasn't perfect but for the sake of progress I did it. One has to conquer their fear of inadequacy and seize the opportunity when it presents itself.

Although practice makes perfect, even if you are a result driven person like me, there are a few life lessons to learn:

1. ·   It’s important not to undermine small beginnings- there lays the gold of knowledge from mistakes and the stamina of a dream chaser.
2. ·         It’s important to be grateful for the glass before you see it as half full or half empty.
3. ·         It’s important to not overlook small victories and milestones, be grateful for those.
4. ·         It’s important to not be scared to fail. Failure is part of the process, the earlier you conquer the fear of failure, the higher the chances of succeeding.
5. ·         Think of the most efficient way you can overcome a challenge instead of giving into panic and anxiety.
6. ·         Give it your all or don’t do it at all.
7. ·         If you have big dreams and aspirations, there shall never be perfect conditions. If you are to start losing weight, a business, quit a bad habit, break up with an abusive person, do it now.
8. ·         Be disciplined, self-control is crucial, join the army if need be (just joking).
9. ·         Break down your goals into short-term goals and work towards the big picture.
10. ·         Live one day at a time, just so you may not feel overwhelmed with the worries of tomorrow.
11. ·         Start small, start slowly, but start.
12. ·         Believe in your magic, a setback is not the end of your story.
13. ·         Like the little boy, in the bible, who fed 5000 men out of 5 loaves; do not despise your humble beginnings and what can come out of the little you have. 

Shirt: Thrifted

Blazer: Thrifted

Boots: Mr Price

                                                         Love and Light!!!

Little ties

He was my utmost desire

All that my heart could ever dream of or require

What a guilty pleasure

What a great mix of all that I like: a lil sarcasm, a lot of culture and his stature

He made it all make sense

A love where I didn’t have to be so tense

Every moment was filled with melodies of a passion so intense

He would stare at me,

His gaze so piercing I’d get lost in his eyes

As we smiled at each other and developed little ties

Oh what a liberating feeling it was, I felt so alive

What a joy to feel something so real, so pure and true

That it would ever be ruined, I had no clue

 I had to let go of him

I could no longer survive the empty promises

It felt like disrespect

A dose of repression, a dose of compromise and here we are packed on side effects

The chemistry was no longer sufficient for me to hold on to, disconnected

I couldn’t deny the fact that I was affected

As I faced the reality, I chose to let go of him

Be free from myself, my feelings and choose me over him

Blouse: The Fix ZA

Dress: The Fix ZA

Flats: The Fix ZA

Coat: Thrifted

Embrace

My body may have been beaten

Made were attempts to keep my spirit broken

But my soul remains unshaken

It breathes the air of life

And dances to the moving skies

Even in the drought, the river of love within me never runs dry

Yes I may encounter troubles and trials and cry

But it will never stop me from getting up and try

Sometimes I may even get it wrong, I may be hit to the curve and wonder why

But He sure hears my cry

So I will get up and keep on trying

I will do more than surviving 

I will enjoy the dance

I will grove to the beat of that inextinguishable source

I have found my freedom, I will nurture it in my embrace

I will walk at my pace

Oh with irrevocable, oh so noticeable grace

I will smile at my truth; let it shine through my face 

Hat: Foschini

Jeans: Cotton On

Boots: Forever 21

Style concept: denim on denim to display strength and perseverance, mixing black with blue for a ray of hope. The denim signifies the trials I face on daily, basis but manage to overcome, Basically, it's all about practicality and pragmatism.



                                         Love and Light!