Everyday Aella : February 2016

26 Feb 2016

Awesomeness or Awkwardness?

Hello there Kings and Queens!

Can you take a compliment? Do you just say thank you, own your awesomeness or it just feels awkward? So many of us don't know what to do with ourselves when we are given a compliment or good feedback. It's like that small moment of recognition and 'spotlight' is just so uncomfortable that the ground might as well swallow us. The awkward response to a compliment doesn't mean that one needs constant external affirmation either. This is something I find pretty fascinating, because not taking compliment has absolutely nothing to do with a lack of confidence.

Some compliments such as 'you are beautiful/handsome' are hard to take credit for. I mean, I never heard a painting take credit for the artist that made it. Somehow, beauty to me is not a merit, nobody worked hard to be beautiful and besides it only depends on the beholder. The same feeling of uneasiness occurs when one is congratulated for academic or professional achievements. The easy way for that person after receiving good feedback for their great work is 'oh no, it's nothing'; yet, it might have taken them sleepless nights and lots of tears to get where they are. Then taking credit for such is taken lightly and mistaken for meekness; and off the giggling match starts or the 'oh stop it, it wasn't that hard anybody could have done it'. However, humility doesn't mean that one has to eclipse their greatness by resorting to self deprecation because it's nicer to sound funny and small (please adhere to being a Kanye of this world).

There is power in looking a person straight in their eyes and say 'thank you'. Leaving self-doubt behind and taking credit where it's due is important for one's growth. I have an aunt who is a pro at taking compliments and being told nice things. If you compliment her on an outfit she would say thank you, not 'oh this old thing' or 'oh, it's just okay'. After all, saying thank you, owning your awesomeness takes nothing away from you. It only empowers you. So, as I challenge myself to say thank you, I hope that you also open up to (small or big) things that used to make you uncomfortable and own your awesomeness. Don't be frightened by your own light.

Be a Kanye of this world, enjoy your achievements, see them as great before anyone else does.

Dress: Moonsoon Clothing

Sandals: Somewhere in Rwanda

Bangles: Inzuki mixed with my own

19 Feb 2016

Life is not microwavable: a lesson on patience

Hello there!!!

In the life of the driven, growth and progress have such a big role in one's wellness and need for self-actualization. As a goal driven person, I tend to believe that if I have done my best, I have done my part, ensured that my work is excellent; then life (or my work) should be equally rewarding. Somehow I may be wrong to treat life like an investments for which the amount invested should provide equal returns. Although, this may work in some cases, there is nothing under the sun that is achieved without struggling and learning to be patient. The truth that life is not microwavable occurred to me this week.

Currently, I am working on finishing up my masters thesis, and if there is a challenge that is experienced in research it's the amount of set backs one encounters. From the beginning of the project, there is a myriad of uncertainties that one faces: if it's not data availability issues, it's administrative issues, if not supervision issues or for fellow macroeconomists some model stability issues. A lot can happen despite the amount of work one puts in, making the progress look like it's slower than a snail's pace and the target close to unreachable.

One thing, for sure this feeling of discouragement is shared by many. From the entrepreneur trying to start-up a business, to the parents trying to have a baby, to the guy trying to gain muscles, to the woman waiting on her promotion, to the people waiting on a home-loan approval and the graduate waiting to be employed; basically anybody and everybody with a goal or dream they want to achieve. Somehow, it can get so bad that it feels like a race with no finish line, and despite how much you've tried, there hasn't been anything to show for it. Successful? Not yet.

So often, the discouragements leads to two things: the temptation of comparison and the act of giving up.

In a society where everything seems instantaneous, we can easily be mislead. When you look around you may see what you desire owned or achieved by someone else, and start feeling like you are lacking because you are not there yet. If not, you may feel so overwhelmed with desperation and think that since there is nothing to show for it, why not just give up (maybe it was not even meant for me you tell yourself).

The truth is nothing good, sustainable and true can be seconds-made. There is always a struggle on the other side of a blessing, you may just not able to see it yet but it's there (I joke you not, I prayed to get accepted for this degree). There is no escalator/lift to reaching a goal/target. Success, in whatever you may be doing, is more like walking through a labyrinth to find the exit. Although, the vision may be clear and you are putting one foot in front of the other (progressing), some paths will lead to nowhere (lessons learned), others will lead you closer to the exit and others will get you back to square one (lessons of humility). Even in the event of all the set backs and the slow progress, you are the ultimate driver to your destination. So don't give up and don't look left and right, fight the temptation and keep a faith-filled tunnel vision.

Some good ol' reminders of patience:

It too Jesus 30 years to start his ministry
Oprah launched her OWN network in 2011 at age 57
Shonda Rhyme's writing turned into movies and series when she was 32 years old
Christian Dior established his brand at age 41
Rome was not built in 3 days
Noodles actually require 5 minutes in the microwave in order to be cooked

(word'up!)

Bodysuit: Legit

Chinos: Woolworths

Jewelry: Lovisa

Shoes: Fashion Express

Love and light, hey...don't give up, yes you, don't give up!

12 Feb 2016

Yours is the greatest love you can receive

Hello there beloved!

Valentine's day is around the corner. I thought I could drop some outfit inspiration to the table. As many know the color palette of this specific 'holiday' is centered on red. For some reason though, I feel like it gets obsolete, predictable or perhaps mainstream; so much that if one goes to a dinner date you may find yourself looking like every other person in the room. Well, how about breaking the mold I say? Wear another bright color or all black/white if you may? How about celebrating love, while celebrating yourself as an individual with a particular taste and choice of color. Why follow what everyone else is doing? While those thoughts took over my choice of garment this week, I thought this yellow number would do the trick. I mean, it's bright enough to relate to the joyful, sweet celebration. Plus those floral heels and the red lipstick will do for all the 'romantic' flare. Since the color was really overpowering, I did not want to overcrowd this piece with a lot of jewelry. When it comes to Valentine's day, I prefer subtlety over anything else. SO, it all boils down to making a statement while wearing a bright color (make your presence felt won't you?) and add little accessories to the mix and ya ready!

While at it, I wanted to touch on the subject of plans or what to do on Valentine's day. As a single girl, I have two options: have fun or sulk through my life. But as a believer of 'self love' and 'making it happen', I say waste no time ---->make it happen for yourself and say no to FOMO. For yours is the greatest love you could ever receive. I don't see what could restrict one to create what they want, seize your life and own it.

As a decipher these statements for you, I simply mean that you can have tons of fun. I remember my 15 years old self, since I had no puppy-love mate, I just went ahead and bought myself a rose. My friends and classmate laughed at me, but well I was making it happen for myself. If you want something just get it. Seriously though, grab your friends and go kick it somewhere fun ad have the time of your life. Monday is another day to keep it moving, without binge eating or sobbing okay? Also remember to celebrate the love you have around you, friends and family are a huge blessing, a source of comfort, support and love we ought to be grateful for. Most importantly, celebrate yourself, spoil yourself and realize what a gift you are!

Dress: Foschini

Heels: Zoom

Earrings: Zuri

Lots of love and thank you for passing by!

5 Feb 2016

Ruling the bars!

Hey my loves, it's Fe-breweryyyyy !!!!

The month of chocolates, red dresses, black suits and wine, and other nice stuff!

Seize and own these moments people. Even if you are baeless, grab your homies/girls and go kick it somewhere nice; no time for sulking and whining here (life be too short chil'!).

So, as I previously mentioned on the blog's social media accounts, today I am spittin' mad bars; for the purpose of exploring all the corners and spots within me which may be housing some type of talent (a soul search gotta be fun).