Searching for clues

Searching for clues

Heart painted blue

Mind filled with a list of dues

Nothing goes unseen

Nothing will not be hidden

Nothing will go unspoken

All of it, even the broken

The adorned was no longer a token

I thought, well that means nothing will be unpunished

The tarnished, the blemished

Eye for an eye, well deserved

Perfection has to be preserved

Who cares if progress is happening, control over all things has to be observed

All has to be paid for, maybe this redemption must be earned

Darkness judged

My sentence and time has to be purged

So I suffocated, mostly exhausted, to despair I turned

Till I touched grace

It changed my fate

First time touching forgiveness

It felt foreign to my face

I had to stop relying on my ignorance

Oh how much reasoning and self confidence

Rationality and logic, I gave it all the importance

But how could I be so confident yet my plans couldn't take me the whole distance

Out of breathe, impossible was the race

Sustained perfection and strength, it's all pretense

I am not that strong, I don't even have it all under control

Too frail to hold water or anything more 

I needed to get to a place of surrender for the survivor in me, only in your embrace

At the door I glared at the self and all over her these scary traces

I pleaded grace

Then for a minute I touched heaven

In a second I tasted your love

That was a change for a life time

Free, I had to pay no price, do no time

Suddenly my bags weighed less

Surrendering made me stress less

Not that I became brainless

Coz it's not about what I do, is it?

It has more to do with my intentions, isn't it?

What I feed my soul, what I produce from the inside, therefore it's actually about who I am?

Less precautions

Since my limitations were no caution

I couldn't escape the truth nor settle with my incarceration

I just rebuked deception

Now there came sweet redemption

Medicated by life, you healed me with love on prescription

Put me on a ride to promotion

No, actually benediction

I accepted my humanity and wore humility, so where you lead me shall be my destination

The way you see me, my description

No need for an audition or universally correct perception

What matters is that I eventually reach my full potential, completion

Thank you for reading and for following up the September series of my attempt at poetry :)

Cape Blazer: On the line (Superbalist)

Jeans: Cotton On

Scarf: From my sister's closet (you are meeting her soon, in the next posts)

Jersey Tee: Woolworth (actually a gift)

Heels: Fashion Express

Clutch: YDE

Inhale and exhale, even if you don't have it all figured out..it's going to be okay