"I ain't sorry ni**a, nah!" Yes, I am very much referring to Lemonade. Yes Bey done gave me all the creative juices I needed. What an album and film people!!! It evoked and awakened all these emotions I am sure every woman can relate to, at one point or another. One song that stood out for me was 'Sorry'. Although its title sounds apologetic, it meant the opposite to me. It meant that women, more specifically Black women, ought to stop apologizing for being who they are and how they were created.
More often than not, we, Black women are born and bred in misogynistic and repression preaching societies. These type of societies are driven by the male ego, which needs rubbing and yes Sir's for 'its survival' and apparent well being. The same societies teach women to keep quiet, to be ever lovely and pleasing, smile at all times, act dumb because apparently it's the only form in which pretty comes in (rolling my eyes ).
In my opinion, Sorry is here to teach us women to say no to being sized up, pinned up, criticized, modified into dolls. We are not dolls, we are not meant to be dolls; we are living and breathing creatures with a voice we need to make more use of, with feelings that need to be considered and emotions that need to be protected. We are not here to merely please, but to be pleased as well.
The song invokes, in me, the need to reject normalcy and embrace originality. Embrace the fact that I am a limited edition, one that is wonderfully and fearfully made. A being that does not have to be politically correct to appease the apprehension and anxieties of the male or anyone else for that matter. A being that does not have to be subjected to what society says I ought or not ought to be. One that does not have to wear heels in order to be more lady like or less expressive to be sweet enough for society's taste. If having an opinion, seeking financial independence and stability before companionship, standing firm in my belief, being strong willed and driven are man-repellers, so be it. I ain't thinkin' 'bout you and I ain't sorry!
When it's not a matter of repressing self expression, it's a matter of emotional regression. Apart of the fact that apparently Black women are feisty, we are supposedly the epitome of strength. False resilience portrayed in the acceptance of BS, smiles and long silences; because 'maintaining the peace' is far more important than self-respect. Yet the need to acknowledge our vulnerability, humanity and emotions is far more urgent than ever.
It's in the same spirit of emotional regression that victims of sexual abuse and assault are asked what they were wearing when the incident happened. As if the role of the offender is reversible or exchangeable.
So basically the lessons taught in the society are that: you don't cry, the only way to be strong is to keep quiet and smile through the agony. But wait, who said that we were emotional Hercules under all that choco?
Sadly, it's in the same tone of denial that we forgive and overlook abuse; because well, if you look hard enough he loves me. But love doesn't hurt. It doesn't. If there are sacrifices to be made, they are not intended in that way. And no, a man is not a dress that you can alter to fit you. So walk away without being apologetic about your decision.
So let's stop making excuses for wrongdoers and for our bad decisions, and move forward. Forward with more self awareness and respect for our emotions, thoughts, opinion and feelings. Do not give time to those who question your dread locks and afros, and why it's not straight. Have no time for those who call you lazy, because you are curvy or question your blackness because you are thin. Neither should we be apologetic about choosing a road less traveled. We, Black women, have the right to occupy the earth and enjoy the resources as much as any other being. The difference is that we ought to want to and work towards writing a different and better story for ourselves.
Let's raise a sisterhood that allows each flower to bloom. Let's allow ourselves to be free, free from comparison and full of compassion. Free to be vulnerable, free to express ourselves, free to demand respect and appreciation. Refuse to be ill treated, gain all the strength to choose yourself. Even if your story hasn't been a good one, make it a good one. Put some RESPECK on your name girl!
Style inspo: the 1990s.
Jacket: Thrifted
Tee: Bello Diamond (it has a zip at the back, talk about edge suhn!)
Culottes: Mr Price
Heels: Madison
Love and Light!
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